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We have seen what we are not, and what God wants us to be, but are we willing to be battered in to the shape of the vision to be used by God? The beatings will always come in the most common, everyday ways and through common, everyday people.
Sometimes I feel empty. How could I possibly sit here and write something moving? How could I hope to teach what I don’t know? The questions just keep piling up until I feel like I have nothing, like I am nothing.
But then I remember one of my favorite poems (I will admit that I have a great many). It’s called “A Better Resurrection” and it was written by a Victorian woman named Christina Rossetti.
I have no wit, no words, no tears;
My heart within me like a stone
Is numbed too much for hopes or fears;
Look right, look left, I dwell alone;
I lift mine eyes, but dimmed with grief
No everlasting hills I see;
My life is in the falling leaf:
O Jesus, quicken me.
My life is like a faded leaf,
My harvest dwindled to a husk;
Truly my life is void and brief
And tedious in the barren dusk;
My life is like a frozen thing,
No bud nor greenness can I see:
Yet rise it shall—the sap of Spring;
O Jesus, rise in me.
My life is like a broken bowl,
A broken bowl that cannot hold
One drop of water for my soul
Or cordial in the searching cold;
Cast in the fire the perished thing,
Melt and remold it, till it be
A royal cup for Him my King:
O Jesus, drink of me.
We will feel empty. We will feel “dimmed with grief.” We live in a fallen world. But we also have the greatest gift we could possibly be given: the love of God and the promise of his mercy and healing.
Read more..."There are only two kinds of people in the end: those who say to God, 'Thy will be done,' and those to whom God says, in the end, 'Thy will be done."
I've been searching for a topic to write about. Something to inspire me to get my non-writer-fingers moving. I couldn't land on anything, at all. But, while I was doing dishes, a thought dropped in my brain. I've been working my way through a series of books. They are very intriguing. The thing that got me was the way the main character is with God. He trusts completely. There is one place in the books where he goes, kneels down to pray, and stays there, pleading for an answer. He didn't move until he got a audible answer. Which got me thinking, what do I ask God for? And truly trust that he will answer? I've never gotten down on my knees and stayed there till I got an answer. Never. Do I even trust him to actually give me a audible answer? He can. So here is my question to myself, and to you.
When you pray do you trust? Are you doing lip service or are you seeking an answer?
"And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive."
Matthew 21:22
Before we begin I want to point out something that you will probably realize as you read on. I am not a believer in the idea that Courtship can save you from a broken heart. Neither do I believe that "Dating With a Purpose" or for that matter ANY kind of relationship method can prevent broken hearts. Broken hearts happen. In fact, God ALLOWS hearts to break. And if He does than it's all for our own good. To "bring us to an expected end." I believe that God has the perfect person out there for each of us. I believe that God will bring two people together. I believe that if a couple places their relationship in God's hands He will direct the relationship so that it remains pure and God-honoring.
There are many, many, many, many, many "Successful Courtship" Stories out there. Every couple has one. And they're all sweet and inspiring and encouraging. What we don't see as often are the "Failed Courtship" stories. I'm convinced it's not because they're not out there. There are obvious reasons for not sharing this kind of thing. It's a personal matter, and I'm certainly not saying that everyone should publish their "Failed Courtship" stories. But, it's good for us to understand that this kind of thing does and can happen. (Incidentally, I don't actually believe in "failed" relationships. If two people enter a relationship toward marriage with the idea that God will direct them and show them how/if they should get married, and it ends up not working, it wasn't meant to work. In that case, I would have to call it a "successful relationship." We certainly wouldn't want two people to get married just because they started a courtship/relationship if they discover it's not meant to be. In these cases God has a much better match for each of them.)
The other thing that we never hear of but I believe MUST happen more than we think is the relationship that fails before it even gets off the ground. Before it progresses to the "Courtship/Dating/Dorting/RELATIONSHIP" stage. I'll be up front and honest here. It's happened to me. Twice. It's happened to some of my friends. It's important to know we're not immune to this sort of thing just because we've committed ourselves to a higher standard of purity.
I'll be honest. It's hard. For those of us who believe in "Courtship", "Dating-With-A-Purpose", "Dorting" or whatever you choose to call it there's a seriousness of thought that comes with all potential relationships. When I was in my teens and early 20s I never thought of any scenario except a perfect one. I imagined a guy approaching me about starting a relationship.... Of course I said yes! I was already in love with him! Or, I imagined getting to know a guy as a friend and gradually falling in love, and when we both realize what is happening it's obvious we're destined to be together forever. Or, my dad comes to me "Rebecca, 'So-and-so' has asked to start a relationship with you. What do you think?" And I take it to prayer and recieve a resounding "YES!" from God, and a "YES!" from my parents and fall madly in love and live happily ever after. *sigh* It seemed impossible to me that all the right components could be there without adding up to the right answer. I never once imagined that a Godly, nice guy would approach me about starting a relationship and the train would come jerking to a halt. And yet, that's exactly what happened.
I'll walk you through the emotional rollercoaster that is a potential relationship.
A) Guy approaches you/your father/however you think it should go
B) Hope ignites. At this point I think to myself "This could be it! I've been waiting my whole life for this to happen, and now it's happening! Could this really be it?" Not to mention the heart-warming "He LIKES me!" Wow. I mean, surely he wouldn't be attracted to me if it wasn't God's will. Right? Um, wrong. Guys can struggle with crushes and attractions just like us girls.
C) You take it to prayer. At this point you become aware that you do NOT already have feelings for this guy. The place in your heart that supposed to be going "ZING!" is rather... empty.
D) Then the questions you ask yourself. Is this guy really the one for me, but I'm immune to falling in love with him? Am I destined to be married to someone I don't love? Or, am I supposed to marry him because all the lights are green (except my heart) and eventually I'll "grow to love him"... maybe.
I remember a time when my Dad asked me how it was going with a certain guy. This guy was interested in starting a relationship with me. I wasn't so sure... I looked at my dad while trying to sort my thoughts into a coherent sentence that would somehow communicate every question, concern, uncertainty, fear, hope, dread and depression that I felt all swirling around in my heart and Dad interpreted it all into one brief fragment of a sentence. "No spark, huh?" Wow. Relief. "Yeah, no spark." He just nodded and walked away. As if to say "Well, that's that. No spark." Yeah. No spark. What a relief to understand that there is SUPPOSED to be a spark. If there's not, Red Light.
Of course, no spark isn't the only reason you should nip a relationship in the bud. There are MANY other things to consider. Do you agree with this guy on all important subjects? Doctrine, Child-raising, are you compatible? I could write another whole article on these subjects but these issues have mostly already been addressed by more qualified people than myself.
E) The dread. The doubt. This could really be it. The last train for marriage-ville. I'm not getting any younger. This guy is attracted to me. He'd probably take good care of me. If I don't agree to go with him... there's a good chance no one else will ever ask me. I could be doomed to spinster-hood!!!!! In the infamous words of Mr. Collins of Pride and Prejudice fame "...You should take it into further consideration that, in spite of your manifold attractions, it is by no means certain that another offer of marriage may ever be made to you."
F) The decision. The "breaking it off." Is it really breaking it off if it never even starts?
G) Then the guilt. I probably really hurt this guy's feelings. Now I feel like an ice queen. Am I incapable of love?
H) Back to the single life. Except now I feel even more single than ever.
I) Then the self questioning. "God, why did You allow this to happen?" For me, this is one of the hardest parts. As Jessie Brown says in Cranford "It's not the despair that hurts, but the hope." Even if your hope never materializes into the feelings you hope it will... the disappointed hope can still leave a bruise that may take a long time to heal.
A friend said to me the other day "God will allow our desires (even good ones) to be tested." This is so true! False start relationships can be discouraging, believe me I know! But, it's always better to look on the bright side. Be thankful for the experience! Be thankful that God is working in you! Be thankful that you made the right decision! Know that God doesn't walk us through darkness for no reason. He tests us because He loves us. Every test and trial we go through is one more test or trial behind us. Don't give up!
If there's three things I want you to understand they would be these:
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