In God I Trust

Growing up, I had so many fears. Armed with an especially vivid imagination, I'd hide under the blankets in my bed, certain that all of my fears came to life when the lights went out. The White Witch lived in my closet and the Wicked Witch of the West under my bed. Nagina from Rikki-Tikki-Tavi was lurking somewhere out of sight nearby my bureau and the wolves from Little House on the Prairie, they were just down the hall.

Books and movies were both my friend and enemy in those days.

Lying in bed, I'd repeat snatches of Psalms in my head, even while I evilness that kept my eyes wide open to watch for witches, wolves and cobras. What time I am afraid, I will trust in Thee...I will not be afraid of the terror by night or of the arrow that flies by day...

(or the imaginary monsters that never frightened me by day)

I grew up. I outgrew my fears. Well, those fears at least. I grew up and lost my fears of characters from stories and movies, but I haven't lost my fears.

I'm still scared of change, even though I'm getting better at overcoming it. I'm still afraid of what people may think of me, afraid of conflict, afraid of...so many things.

My fears have different names, but the remedy for them is the same. I will never lose being afraid of something, but I hope and pray I never lose the way to deal with them.

God.

Prayer.

His Word.

God.

So many unknowns...but I'm hanging onto the prayers and Psalms.

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty
I will say to the Lord, "My Refuge and my Fortress. My God in whom I trust."

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Where Fears Go

“Do you know where your fear goes?”

I smile over the counter at the bespectacled guest. He’s wearing a serious expression on his face; it matches his suit and tie perfectly.

“I’m sorry?” I ask, as I hand him directions to a nearby restaurant.

The guest is attending a convention on hypnotism at the hotel and has been staying in one of our guest rooms all week as well. He’s one of the most pleasant guests I’ve waited on today, but the most persistent in informing me about the benefits of hypnotism.

“When you aren’t afraid any more, after your fear goes away – where does it go?”

A line of guests has started to form behind the friendly hypnotist in front of me. As a guest services associate, I’m starting to get antsy at the sight. Queues are not good.

I can’t decide what to say. I shrug and smile apologetically. “I don’t know.”

He springs on this. “Don’t you want to know where it goes?”

A hundred thoughts troop through my mind, including, “Please, dear God, don’t let the people behind him yell at me again today.”

I say the first thing that pops into my head. “As long as it’s gone, I suppose I don’t really care.”

He raises an eyebrow at that, but I’m afraid we get no further in our conversation. I smile apologetically, as I tell him I’d see him later and motion the next guest to the counter at the same time.

I never did see him again. Not long enough to talk with him further.

As I think about that day, three years ago, I realize yet anew that I really don’t care where my fear goes, just so long as it is gone – but I do wish that I had thought quickly enough and had told the hypnotist that day that I did know where my fears went.

You see, I give my fears to God.

Simplistic (at least in theory), I know. But it’s true.

I give my fears to God. I really don’t care what He does with them. As long He has them, as long as He’s taking care of them, that’s all that I care about. I give them to Him, try to be brave on His strength and go from there.

Leaving the fears in His hands.

Now, to echo that friendly hypnotist, do you know where your fears go when you’re no longer afraid?

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