Proverbs 31:23

Her husband is 

known in the gates, 

when he sitteth among the

elders of the land.

-Proverbs 31:23

If you're anything like me you read this verse and skip right over it.  You think " 'husband' ok, don't have one of those, this verse doesn't apply to me."  But, since my study right now is causing me to look at the Proverbs 31 Virtuous Woman through different eyes  I'm starting to see things a little clearer.  I might not have a husband NOW, but I certainly would like to have one sometime in the future.  So, how can I prepare for this now? 

The first thing I noticed here was that this entire passage of scripture is about the virtuous woman.  Not her husband.  There are only a few places where her husband is even mentioned.  But, even then, those verses aren't talking about HIM.  They're talking about what her relationship is with him.  So, I think we can assume that even though this verse is talking about a husband, there's something for us to learn from it.  You've heard the saying "Behind every good man is a good woman?"  I'm not saying that's completely true.  And I'm not trying to peddle a feminist agenda.  :)  But, the basis of that idea is that if a man is good, chances are pretty high that his wife is supportive and kind. Encouraging and a good influence.  She probably isn't like the woman mentioned in Proverbs 21:9 and 21:19.  "It is better to dwell in the wilderness than with a contentious and angry woman."  Ouch. 

The Husband mentioned in this verse is a respected and well-known man.  He has a good reputation.  Do you think he built that reputation all on his own?  He could certainly do that and if he were single he would have only himself to concern with the upkeep of that reputation.  But, we know for a fact that he's married because this verse calls him a husband.  So, that got me to thinking about what kind of wife a respected man like that would have.  I have an excellent example right in front of my nose.  My own father is an elder in our church.  He's also a business man of good reputation in our community.  His wife (my mom) is supportive, encouraging and does an excellent job maintaining her own good reputation which in turn reflects well on my dad.  It always helps me to look at things in the converse.  So, I tried to imagine what my Dad's business and church responsibilities would look like if my mom nagged at him all the time.  To be honest, I had a hard time imagining my dad even wanting to be a well known person if he constantly had to be dealing with a contentious and angry wife.  I've been at many community events and watched my dad proudly introduce his wife to everyone he meets.  What if he didn't want to introduce her because she was such a negative person?  What if he introduced her to people and rather than smiling and being friendly she was rude?  My dad's reputation would suffer for it. 

In a conversation with our own Valerie the other day she mentioned that she felt that a lot of guys might be intimidated by the kind of man that most of us girls are looking for.  This led to a discussion of what kinds of qualities we should expect to find in a good husband candidate, which of those we should reasonably expect to be matured qualities (like a heart for the Lord) and which character qualities we should only reasonably expect him to be in the process of developing.  After all, it takes many years to iron out and develop a Godly character.  I'm certainly not perfect and I would hate to feel that I'm being passed over as a good marriage candidate because I'm not perfect.  During the conversation I mentioned that I wasn't looking for someone who was perfect.  Just so he had a willing heart and a goal about what kind of man he wants to become.  I'm totally willing to provide encouragement to help him get there!  I'm a good encourager!  And that kind of encouragement is exactly what I need in my own life!  I know who it is I want to be and I'm working on reaching  my goals.  A little encouragement along the way would be just splendid.  :)  But, I digress...  The point is that if we have expectations of what kind of man we're looking for as a husband, we should expect that the guys also have expectations about what kind of women they are looking for in a wife.  And, if we expect to marry a certain quality of man, we need to be worthy of him. 

The husband in this verse is a leader among men.  Before he was married, what kind of woman do you suppose he was looking for in a wife?  What kind of character traits do you suppose appealed to him?  Should we assume that he married a run-of-the-mill girl?  Or, that he married a girl who had the makings of being a strong, responsible, well respected women?  We have a joke in our house and it takes a little bit of explaining.  My dad is in a group of men at our church that we often refer to as "The Elders" :)  The elder's wives are usually referred to as (creatively enough) the "Elders Wives."  My mom has always encouraged her daughters to be strong women of God, leaders of our peers, encouragers and wise counselors.  She set for us the goal of being the kind of women that would be good wives of good men.  The kind of men that hold positions of leadership in their communities and churches.  She called us "Elders Wives in Training."  Or, as we quickly nick-named it "E-WITS."  It's funny, and we laugh when we talk about being "E-WITS" but the principle is a good one.  We should be preparing now to be the kind of woman that are well-equipped to encourage a man who is "known in the gates."  Be worthy of what you desire. 

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Book Review: Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye? by Carolyn McCulley

Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye? by Carolyn McCulley
I give this book 5 stars and 2 thumbs up.  That's how much I loved it.

Carolyn writes from her own experience and her honesty is touching, humorous and in some instances even heartbreaking.  But mostly her honesty is inspiring, level headed and REAL.

Who would've thought reading a book on a subject I personally struggle with written by another woman struggling with the same thing could be so encouraging and uplifting?

I was especially pleasantly surprised to find the author addressing the topic of the Proverbs 31 woman especially relating to single women.  This is a topic the IDD Blog has recently been studying.  I found her insights to be invaluable.

I recommend this book to EVERY woman aged 15-95, married or single.  Even though it's primary focus is single woman, Carolyn points out that single woman are just woman, who happen to currently be single.  Her encouraging words apply to women in every walk of life.

You can find more of Miss McCulley's work at Boundless

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Self- Confidence. (Or, The Lack Thereof)

I've struggled with low self-confidence my entire life.  I'm a natural introvert.  As a child I was never more than an arms reach away from my mom and often so close behind her that if she stopped suddenly I would run into her.  If someone spoke to me I answered in monosyllables and hid my face.  When I was eleven we joined a Bible club at a local church.  I cried and my mom had to stay with me the whole first night.  Even at age 18 I made multiple excuses not to make phone calls.  I was terrified to use the phone.  I stayed home when I was invited to parties with excuses of "headaches.  Actually, the truth wasn't far off.  I got instant headaches at the thought of socialization.  There were times that I cried for hours before going to a social gathering merely because I didn't want anyone to look at me.  If they looked at me I knew they would know what a failure I was.     

 

When I went to work at the flower shop I had to do major overcoming.  I had to drive to people's houses and knock on their doors!  Let me tell you, though, when you walk into an office building carrying a bouquet of flowers EVERYONE looks at you.  But, surprisingly they aren't thinking "Who is that strange girl and what is her problem?"  They're thinking "OOOO.... I wonder who's getting flowers?"  My boss required me to make some difficult phone calls for her and once I even had to run after a customer who "forgot" to pay.  Some of the things I had to do would have been a cake walk to other people.  They were mountains for me.  But, the thing about mountains is that once you've conquered them they become monuments, things we can look back on as battles fought and won.  Every victory is a step higher.   

 

Only a few weeks ago I was talking with a co-worker.  It was a rather deep discussion and at one point I referred to myself as "Shy.” 
She looked at me in disbelief.  "You are NOT shy!"
I stared at her blankly.  "Well, I am…" 
She shook her head. "Well, I've never thought of you as shy. I mean, you're quiet and you're certainly not a big talker, but you're friendly and you certainly don't ACT shy!" 
I was still perplexed.  I'd worked with this woman for almost 7 years.  Could she really not know?  "I am shy... I always have been..."  
She continued to stare at me "Well.  You certainly cover it well!"

And that's when I realized the truth.  I'm really not nearly as shy as I used to be and my self-confidence is really SO much better.  I still don't like crowds of people.  I'm still a horrible conversationalist.  I'm good at listening, but really not good at talking myself.  I'd still much rather be alone with my own thoughts than at a party and I still don't like anyone to look at me.  I'll always be that way.  But, I've learned to cover it well.  I've learned to "fake it."  And it's made a huge difference in my life.  I'm not an expert.  I still struggle with self-confidence.  I still cry at night when I'm feeling 2 inches tall.  I still don't have a lot of social skills that most people don't ever have to learn because they just come naturally.

But, there are a few things I've learned that help me get through a day at least faking self-confidence.  :) 

 

 

• Don't beat yourself up, especially for the sake of humor.  While it may cause people to chuckle at the time it's really not worth it in the long run.  And it sends a message like a flashing neon sign "REBECCA IS OK TO PICK ON."  A fellow IDDiot and I were talking the other day about making disparaging remarks about ourselves in order to lighten the mood and make a conversation.  Here's what I said   "[We] need to develop [our] self confidence and present [our] self-confidence... I don't really know how to describe this. This is something that I have FINALLY started learning how to do. There are still times when I cower and feel like everyone around me is SO much more accomplished, intelligent, etc... and there were/still are plenty of times when I made a conversation out of my inadequacy. Why did I do that to myself? Desperate for something to say, I guess and having nothing to say, without sounding stupid I just kind of announced my stupidity... ??"  Girls, please, please don't do this to yourselves.  You are worthy of being praised. 

 

• Learn your strengths and depend on them.  It's never okay to ignore our weaknesses but it's certainly not necessary to hide our strengths.  Work on your weaknesses.  Meanwhile, put your best foot forward. If you find yourself in a conversation that's out of your depth, don't be discouraged or draw attention to your inability.  Instead, learn what you can from it and speak up when you can it's a subject familiar to you.  Don't let your weaknesses overshadow your strengths!  Make it the other way around!

 

• Smile.  Even if you're quaking inside, even if you'd rather be anywhere rather than where you are.  A smile is the universal sign of friendship.  If you don't say a word your smile will still make an impact. 

 

• The secret to dealing with a lack of self-confidence is Don't Let Anyone Else Know!  Acting can be your best friend.  In the movie Wives and Daughters, Cynthia says, "The French girls would tell you that to believe that you are pretty would make you so."  There's a lot of truth in that statement.  A woman who thinks of herself as beautiful will act beautiful.  She will take extra care with her clothes, hair and makeup.  She will cultivate her beauty.  Similarly, acting confident (even when you are not) will give you a confidence.  Or, at the very least, it will give everyone else the idea that you are!  

 

• Remember that God is confident in you, His creation, even if you are not.

• I'll let you in on another secret.  You're most likely the ONLY person that knows that you're self-conscious and awkward feeling.  I often think that EVERYONE must be able to see how awkward I am, but the truth is people don't really notice as much as you think they do.  If you start focusing on others all the time and stop focusing on your own failings you'll find yourself much more relaxed in social situations.

 

• As Oscar Wilde said "Be yourself.  Everyone else is already taken."

Take it one step at a time. Don’t expect to change from shy to outgoing overnight. It takes time and practice. It’s worth it in the long run, though.

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Proverbs 31:13

      She seeketh wool, and flax,

and worketh willingly 

with her hands

 -Proverbs 31:13

The main part of this verse that caught my eye was "She worketh WILLINGLY with her hands."  Probably every one of us is familiar with that ancient saying "A man will work from sun to sun, but a woman's work is never done."  I have my doubts whether or not this saying is really true of the sexes in general.  I've met men who never stop and woman who like to take plenty of breaks.  :) 

Regardless, every single woman in this world, married or single, mother, sister or grandmother has more than enough projects, jobs, etc. (feel free to fill in the blank here with whatever it is that keeps YOU busy) to distract her every minute of every day.  How many of us have moaned for the luxury of 36 hours in a day instead of 24?  In fact, I'm pretty sure we were having a conversation along these exact lines on the IDD forum just the other day.  :)  I'm convinced however that whether we were given 36 hours a day or even 48 every single one of us would remain just as busy and behind on our "to-do" lists as we are now. 

Here's why:  From the minute I wake up in the morning, and often even before I've woken up in the morning, I am planning my day.  I wake up with a list in my head entitled Things To Get Done Today.  I get out of bed and before I've even washed my face the list has grown.  It goes like this:  On my walk to the bathroom I add Sweep Kitchen Floor and Make Coffee.  As I'm putting on my makeup and brushing my teeth I mentally add Buy a New Toothbrush, Look at Garden Plan, Save Money, Wash Towels and Talk to Mom about This Weekend. All of this is before I've even poured my coffee or eaten breakfast.  As soon as I open the refrigerator to get out the milk I start adding things to the Grocery section of my list and planning dinner.  I check my e-mail during breakfast (Three cheers for multi-tasking!!) and start adding more things to the list Pay Insurance, Write a Blog Post, Check on Library Books Due Dates, Water Plants.  If I'm feeling super organized I might even pull out my phone and start putting my list into a drafted text message that I keep for this exact purpose.  But, honestly, the thoughts come faster than I can put them into my phone and realistically I can't walk around with my phone in my hand all day long adding things to my list.  I walk to my car and the list grows.  Get Gas, Take Out Garbage, Practice Piano.  I arrive at work and my "Home" list retires to a "Look at Later" file and my "Work" list comes out.  Re-cut Flowers, Clean Roses, Order Plants, FIND MORE PENS, Clean vases, Call Other Shop....  During the day I think of people and add their names to my "Call and See How They're Doing List."  But, who has time for an hour long conversation with each of those 25 people?  I'll be perfectly honest.  By the time I've arrived home at the end of the day I've forgetten 80% of the things on the list, and of the remaining 20% maybe 5% of THOSE actually get done.  I fall into bed and try to sleep as the image of my "Things to Get Done Today" list haunts me with it's lack of check marks.  Imagine how it would be if we had 48 hours to spend thinking of things to do?  I, for one, would definitely be just as behind on my projected goals as I am now.  Maybe more so.
 


This is the life of a young, single woman with no husband to think of and no children to care for, and supposedly plenty of energy.  I'm not trying to give you the impression that I work uber-hard and deserve a vacation in Hawaii.  (Although that would be nice...)  As a matter of fact, I'm really trying to show you how discouraging it is to NOT get things done.  I, of course, take the lions share of the blame for things not getting done.  I could be more efficient.  I could prioritize better.  I could be less selfish and choose to spend my time doing the things that I know need to be done but I don't really want to do.  I could probably sacrifice an hour of sleep. 

Above all, I could have a better attitude.  That's all I'm really trying to say here.  The Virtuous Woman WORKS.  It's true.  But, more importantly, she works WILLINGLY.  You've heard the saying "Attitude is everything"?  It's absolutely true.  I would be willing to bet that I could sweep the floor faster and more efficiently if I have a good attitude versus sweeping the floor with a bad attitude.  If I go through my day with a willing heart I'll probably remember more of the things on my list.  I'll probably get more of them done and I'll definitely be a better example, a better employee, better sister and all around a better person to know.  On the flip side, if I scowl and complain about everything I do, I'll probably talk myself out of doing things, be less productive and no one will want to be around me. 

A woman's work is never done.  And, according to Proverbs 31, the Virtous Woman is WILLING to shoulder that burden.  Something every single one of us can work on every single done.  Because as long as there's work to be done, there can and should be a willing attitude to go along with it. 

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Christa-Taylor

Why is there such a lack of fashionable, feminine, MODEST clothing?

Ever felt the frustration?  I think all of us have asked this question at one time or another.  Meet someone who has actually DONE something about it.

Christa-Taylor is an online company devoted to providing cute, fashionable clothes for the modesty-conscious crowd.  :) In her own words "...Feminine and beautiful without compromising self respect and dignity." You can read more about how the company started and all about Christa Taylor HERE.

To start with I want to say that Christa-Taylor is not paying me to talk about her company.  She didn't send me any free products.  Everything I've ordered from Christa-Taylor has been purchased with my own money.  I happen to think that they have a great mission and I think their clothes are cute so I don't mind supporting them one bit! By the way Christa-Taylor donates 5% of every purchase to Warm Blankets Orphan Care International. which is pretty cool. 

I've ordered from them several times and every time I've been very pleased with my purchases.  I bought my winter coat from Christa-Taylor, and I wear it EVERYWHERE and get compliments on it all the time.  In fact, just today a random lady I walked by stopped me to tell she loved my coat.  

Their shipping is super fast, I always receive my order in two to three days.  Look at these sweet dresses I just bought!

Blue Best Friend Dress
I don't care if it is the middle of winter.  I wore this dress to church last Sunday with tights, a cardigan sweater and boots.  I LOVED it!

Vintage Dot Dress This one, I admit isn't exactly in my color scheme...  But, I don't care.  It's so adorable, I had to get it anyway!

Christa-Taylor also has a BLOG that she updates usually once or twice a week full of fashion and beauty advice that I highly recommend you check out.  Right now she's got an awesome post up about how to shape and maintain your eyebrows.  :) Every girl needs to know how to do this!

I hope you check out Christa-Taylor and find something you like!

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On Aging

I think I'm having belated reactions to my birthday a couple months ago.

Have you ever had that birthday?  You know... the depressing one?

Well, I thought 25 was bad.  Then I turned 26.  I had JUST gotten accustomed to being 25; and then I realized.  26 is older than 25.  I tried to keep my depression on the down-low.  Whenever I mentioned the shock at the passing of time and my own aging, I usually got about the same kind of response.  Some variation of: "You're not OLD!"

So, I'm not really.  But, still, I took 26 hard and I spent a lot of time wondering where my early 20s went to.  And trying to remember what I did with them.  Were there any accomplishments to speak of?  Did I make any significant advancements in life?  None were apparent.  I felt like the same person I was at 18, when I graduated from high school, put my life in God's hands, and settled in to wait on direction.
That was a tough birthday.  And for about 6 months afterward.

Then I turned 27.

I sort of dreaded this birthday, especially after my experience with the last one.  (Which, by the way, does not seem that it possibly could have been a year ago?)  But, it seemed to go pretty well.  The day was uneventful for the most part.  I still don't FEEL 27, and I certainly don't LOOK it... (some people still guess my age at 18 :) but, it went well.

Or so I thought.

Then it happened.

I found a gray hair.

By now you are probably thinking that I am a horribly dramatic person who is very easily thrown off her rocker.

Nothing brings the passage of time closer to home for me than repetition.  There are certain events that are regular as clockwork in my life.  Yearly events.  For instance the homeschool play that my brother and sister were in last weekend.  I remember sitting in that same auditorium 12 months ago thinking: "The next play is a YEAR away.  That's such a long time.  A lot can happen in a year.  Maybe next year, I won't be sitting here alone."  And, 24 months ago?  Same thing.  36 months ago?  Yep.  This is hard to admit, so bear with me?

I'm content being single.  I really am.  I'm enjoying it.  But, I'm one of those people that is always alone in a crowd.  Nothing makes me feel more desolate than a full house.  Have you ever been in a theater and noticed how many people are paired up?  Very few people go to these things alone.  Of course, I don't go strictly alone; I go with my (huge) family.  So, maybe I have no right to let the loneliness creep up on me and sit on my shoulders.

But, (even though it's hard) I'm being honest here.  Loneliness hurts.  It hurts to go to the same events year after year and watch the couples.  It's hard to watch everyone younger than you married and toting babies.  It's hard to know that people that know me wonder if I'll EVER find a guy.

Mostly, it's hard to realize that another year has gone by (and they keep coming faster and faster) and I'm still single.  And I'm sitting in the same auditorium again, with a couple in front of me.  And one behind me; and one on the left, and one on the right, and know that (based on previous experience) next year it will probably be the same.

And that's why I struggle with birthdays.  Not because I feel old.  Not really because I found a gray hair.  (Because, seriously, it's ONE gray hair) It's because it's another reminder that time marches on.  And that I'm not where I thought I'd be. 

I'm not sharing this with you all because I'm trying to get you depressed.  I'm saying it because it's true in my life.  And I have a feeling there are other young women out there feeling the same way.  I know that I'm exactly where I should be.  I know my future is in God's hands.  I know He loves me.
But, that doesn't mean that sometimes I don't hurt.  It just means that when I DO hurt He comforts me. 
And, maybe if we're honest with each other, and share our hurts, we can comfort each other?

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Strawberry Shortcake

Not this one:

This one:


now that we have that clear....


I'm sick of winter. Really. So, I have an idea!!! let's pretend it's summer! who's with me?

ok! great!! get out your fork, 'cause I'm making Strawberry Shortcake.



1/3 cup butter flavored Crisco
2 C. Flour
2 Tbsp. Sugar
3 Tsp. Baking Powder
1 Tsp. Salt
3/4 C. Milk

Strawberries
1 Tbsp. sugar

Whipped cream

Wash your strawberries

Chop up strawberries, sprinkle sugar over them and put them in the refrigerator until you're ready to serve.

Mix together the flour, sugar, baking powder and salt. Use a pastry blender to cut in the crisco until the mixture is crumbly. Add milk and stir. Roll dough out on floured surface. Cut into biscuit rounds. I use a jar ring or the top of a glass. NOTE: if you place your shortcakes close together on the baking sheet they will rise better.

Bake @ 450 for 20 minutes. Cool, cut in half and serve with strawberries and whipped cream! YUM!!!

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Great Expectations Part 2

PART ONE HERE  
              Girls, let’s face it.  There are not very many of us that are totally and completely content with our lives as they are.  I’ve never met anyone that could tell me they loved their life so much, that there wasn’t one single thing about it they would ever want to change.  And if I ever did hear someone say that I would probably assume they were fibbing.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying we all have terrible lives.  I certainly don’t have a terrible life.  In fact, I have a pretty good life.  But, I’m not wholly and absolutely happy all the time.  Sometimes I feel like I have huge voids in my life.  Since I’m single I find myself quite often blaming my discontent on being single.  I’ve heard a lot of girls doing this same thing.  And along with that comes the idea that “if I had a husband I’d be happy.”  I’d have someone to talk to.  Someone who understands me.  I’d feel like I had a purpose in life. 

                 This is a very dangerous way to think.   Of course we girls should long for marriage.  It’s a very good and proper thing to desire.  We’re supposed to desire it. But, marriage is not a cure-all for what-ails-you.  If you’re struggling with something in your life, don’t just chalk it up to your lack of a significant other.  Dig a little deeper.  Find the real reason and deal with it.  If you don’t, it will be all that much harder to deal with later when you are married.  Once you are married you are responsible for so much more than just yourself.  Everyone and everything you are responsible for will suffer for your buried issues. 

                  Imagine this.  You have a bitterness buried deep in your heart, and all your single years you refuse to deal with it.  You assume that the real reason you are unhappy and discontent is that you are lonely.  Someday a handsome prince comes into your life.  He is just wonderful, everything you’ve ever wanted in a husband.  He sweeps you off your feet.  You get married in June.  You are happy for a while.  But, then something happens that upsets you.  He says something insensitive.  He doesn’t mean to, but he’s human, after all.  He makes mistakes.  But, you are hurt.  All the old bitterness comes to the surface.  Suddenly, whatever little thing it was that upset you to begin with blows up into a huge issue.  He doesn’t know what he did that caused you to get so riled up, and you are mad that he is so insensitive that he doesn’t know.  You’re certainly not going to pour salt in your own wound by spelling it out for him.  So, you stomp out of the room and slam the door.  Icy silence for a few hours.  Or days maybe.  You’re not happy, He’s not happy, the kids aren’t happy…  When Mama ain’t happy ain’t nobody happy… right? 

                Girls we need to be so careful in our expectations.  It’s not fair to our future husbands.  We can’t expect them to be perfect.  We can’t expect them to be able to take away all of our unhappiness and give us happiness, we can’t expect them to solve all of our problems.  They can’t.  They’re just men.  Just human beings like us. 

I’m not saying we shouldn’t have expectations.  We should.  But, we need to expect reality.  Not utopia. 

BUT, the good news is:  there is a utopia for us! 

God has Great Expectations for us too:

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the thoughts that I think towards you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. 

               The really good news is:  God actually can fill all of our voids.  He can help us with our bitterness.  He understands us, He’s always there for us to talk to, and He can give us a purpose in life.  In fact, He gave us our lives to begin with.  Without Him we wouldn’t even have life. 

Psa 62:5  My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him.

Pro 23:18  For surely there is an end; and thine expectation shall not be cut off.

Pro 24:14  So shall the knowledge of wisdom be unto thy soul: when thou hast found it, then there shall be a reward, and thy expectation shall not be cut off.

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Great Expectations Part 1

I have some great expectations.  I have always, always, for as long as I can remember supposed that I would get married.  I believed that I was called to be a wife and mother.  I imagined that I would marry at the age of 19.  I would be done with high school by then.  I had no plans for college.  Why would I need to go to college?  I wouldn’t need a career because my husband would be our bread-winner.  My career would be “stay-at-home-mom.”  There are no courses to be taken in How to be a Good Wife,”  “Raising Children to Serve God 101,” “Homeschooling Your Children” or “Housekeeping for Dummies.”  Everything I needed to know I learned at home from my mother.  I learned to cook and clean.  I helped my little brothers and sisters with their school work.  I didn’t date because I knew that God would bring me my perfect match so why should I fool around with fate? 

                    My “great expectation” to be married at 19 did not happen.  Ok, so 19 is a little young.  I’ll concede that.  Then, I planned on getting married at 20… and then 21… and then 22… and so on.  It’s been quite a few years since 19.  But, I wonder what expectations we all have about our princes and marriage in general.  Here’s a couple of scenario’s for you.

                    It’s a beautiful summer day, the flowers are blooming and the sun is shining.  The time is late afternoon; you’re in your bright, sunny kitchen preparing dinner for your family.  The children are playing sweetly outside on the swing set, their laughter floats to you on the breeze that is whispering at the open window and dancing with the curtains.  You smile and hum to yourself as you chop home-grown vegetables and dump them into the frying pan..  Any moment your husband will walk in the door, he’ll toss the boys in the air and hug the girls.  But first, he’ll have a kiss for you.  When dinner is ready, you’ll all sit down to a wonderful candle-lit meal, served up on those adorable dishes you ordered from Crate and Barrel.  You’ll all laugh together as you talk about your day.  Later, after the children are bathed and tucked into bed with a story and a kiss, you and your husband sit outside under the stars, and just talk.  Just enjoy each other’s company…

                   We all have great expectations.  Reality is often another story.  Here’s another scenario.

                  It’s still a beautiful summer day, but you’re too tired and hot to notice.  The air conditioning is broken and you’ve spent the whole afternoon trying to fix it.  Frustrated, you finally give up and go inside.  The children are climbing the walls, crying, they just want your attention, but you don’t have time.  Your husband will be home any minute and you haven’t even thought about what to make for dinner.  You pop a video into the VCR (the DVD player is broken) and set the kids in front of the TV.   What to do for dinner?  There are no homegrown vegetables to glean from the garden, because there is no garden.  You’re not allowed to grow anything on your rental property.  The fridge is almost empty, you haven’t been to the grocery store yet this week, in fact you haven’t been out of the house at all because you only have one car and your husband takes it to work.  You grab a jar of Prego out of the cupboard (the last one) and a box of pasta.  Meatless spaghetti.  Again.  Your husband comes home from a long day at work.  He’s hoping to sit down to a steak dinner, but instead he gets a dirty house, crying kids, a cranky wife and meatless spaghetti.  Again.

Part 2 Coming Tomorrow....

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Waiting on the Lord

Isaiah 40:31 has always been one of my favorite scripture verses. “But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.”

I’ve always been of sort of a “delicate constitution” and the part about the LORD “renewing my strength, running and not being weary and walking without fainting” has been a wonderful promise to hold onto. But, I saw it in a whole new light the other day. Suddenly the “waiting on the Lord part stuck out to me” and it meant something totally new.

I’m waiting right now. Waiting for my Prince Charming. Or, more specifically, waiting on the Lord to bring me my Prince Charming. And, I’m not going to lie, it’s hard to wait. Not in the sense that it’s difficult to have patience, (although that can be an issue, too) but that it’s difficult being single. I’m sure that someone will say that being married is not easy, and that I should be thankful that I only have myself to look after, and all those sorts of things that married people like to say to us singles.  But, I wish to point out that Genesis 2:18 says: “And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a help meet for him.” We are all created with a purpose, with a plan for our lives that goes beyond, way beyond the dreams that we have for ourselves and the things that we, with our tiny minds, believe we are capable of. Most of us need another person standing beside us, working with us, to reach our full potential. We are created as one half of a perfect equation.

So, I think of myself at this stage in my life as being sort of half-missing. And I’m anxious to realize the potential of my life as a whole.

While I’m waiting, though, I get tired. I get weary of the endless day in day out all alone. I have a picture in my head of a half person. A person that is missing half of their organs, a person with only one arm, one leg, one ear, etc. Would you expect a person like that to do everything in a day that you do? Would you expect them to keep a house, drive a car, pay their bills, work 40 hours a week, care for children? No, you wouldn’t. That kind of person (if it were even possible for someone to live in this condition) would certainly be entirely supported by someone else. Probably the government. They would likely be in a hospital, and the only things we would expect of them would be breathing, eating and staying alive.

So, going back to my early statement of considering myself a half of a whole, it seems a little extreme that I should be expected to do everything that I do. But, I still manage to do all of it. And that gets tiring. Let’s face it. Being alone is exhausting!

And so, Isaiah 40:31 suddenly today for the first time seemed to be talking about something different in my life. Not something physical. “But they that wait upon the LORD”.... wait, for God’s plan for your life. I’m waiting. For…. something… for someone.
“shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.”

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