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Dear Lydia,
I know a very nice girl. She is very pretty, with hair that some people call titian, some people call, auburn, some call it red, others blonde, and some even think it’s brown. “N.D.” says she is “just a normal 18 year old American girl” but I think she is very, very talented. She rides horses, tap dances (in Morse code), deciphers codes, speaks several languages, and plays the bagpipes, the piano, and the violin. She paints, sings, sews, bakes, skis, swims, cooks, acts, and does ballet. She is a superior chemist, knows about art, literature and music can fly and land a plane as well as skillfully maneuver her car at high speeds. She wins at golf and tennis tournaments, and has an uncanny ability to discover hidden staircases and rooms. She’s also a brilliant amateur detective, and is always helping people. She can do anything. She is a wonderful girl, and I’m very happy to be her “special friend” as she calls me.
The problem? I feel so inadequate next to her. I’m just a tall, dark, handsome collage football/basketball/baseball star who is headed for the pros. I feel like a nobody next to “N.D.” It bugs me that all the men she meets with falls in love with her. “N.D.” has always been true to me, but it still worries me, because “N.D.” never commits to anything in our relationship, whenever anybody asks her about it, she coyly changes the subject. We’ve been together for forever, and nothing ever changes. It makes me wonder, does she really care about me? What if she meets a guy as talented as she is? I’ve heard there’s a pair of brothers down the river who are detectives, hopefully she’ll never meet them.
While on cases “N.D.” has a knack for always breaking our dates and then getting into dangerous situations. I tell her over and over and over again to be careful, but she’s always getting kidnapped, or lost, or left to die etc. I try to be the hero and save her, she is always gracious grateful, but usually I show up too late to do anything but watch the authorities cart the criminals away. Sometimes I wish she would stop being a detective, but “N.D.” only seems happy when she’s working on a case, and I want her to be happy, but I also want her to be safe, and to commit to our relationship. And I won’t mind if she was a little less talented. Do you think I am making a big deal out of nothing? Or are we are not meant to be?
Please help,
Football Star
Dear Mr. Football,
First, I have a couple of questions: Are you sure this girl is real? When does she have time to eat and sleep? You seem to adore her, has she ever shown any particular affection for you, besides being gracious? You seem to want a deeper relationship, does “N.D.”? You are right to be concerned, lopsided relationships are never healthy. The way it sounds to me, for now “N.D.” probably just likes you as a close friend, nothing more. Will you be happy with just being friends for now? If you can be then let the relationship continue as it has been, and let things work themselves out, time will tell if you are meant to be together. If now you want more than just being friends you should try to make “N.D.” tell you her real feelings.
Second, you don’t seem so bad yourself, “N.D.” may be inhumanly talented, but you are an all-around athlete, and sound like a good chap, although not overly modest.
Thirdly, if you want her to be happy then you are going to have to put up with her breaking dates, almost dying, and having every guy fall in love with her. I find most detectives have a knack for those things, my apologies. I’m sure she can’t help that her good nature causes amore in men, give her credit for staying true to you so far.
Finally, I’d watch out for the detective brothers. They sound like competition to me.
As Ever,
Lydia
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