Tuesday, April 28, 2009

I Will Listen

Every once in a while I happen upon something someone has written and the words play so close to my heart that I claim them as my own. This song has been echoing the cries of my own heart beat for beat for a lot years now. (The italicized parts are mine)
Hard as it seems
Standing on dreams
Where is the dreamer now
Is there anyone out there whose life went according to plan? Mine certainly didn't. Who would've thought at age 27 I'd still be single? Who would've thought I'd be walking a road with no bend in sight and still carrying the same burdens I've had for so long? Where is the dreamer? Right where she was when she was dreaming. Just... not so many dreams now.

Wonder if I
Wanted to try
Would I remember how
There are definitely days when I wonder why I ever had the nerve to suppose that my dreams would come true. There's not much dreaming of happily ever after for me. I'm busy trying to support myself. Trying to plan for a future alone.

I don't know the way to go from here
College? Try to find a better job? Move? I don't want to do any of these things. Keep on right where I'm at? Is there a future here?

But I know that I have made my choice
And this is where I stand
Until He moves me on
And I will listen to His voice
I keep coming back to the same place. He put me here. He'll move me when the time is right. His plans are better than mine.

This is the faith
Patience to wait
When there is nothing clear
My fears of the future collide with each other in their fury. I can't breathe sometimes. Sometimes faith has to get way down into the roots of my fear. Having the faith to have the patience.

Nothing to see
Still we believe
Jesus is very near
He said He wouldn't leave me. I can't always see Him moving. Sometimes I wonder if He really IS there... but, that's the faith. Having the faith to believe in what we can't see.

I can not imagine what will come
But I've already made my choice
Not a choice to take a turn in my road. Not a choice to pursue a path or abandon a dream or strike out on my own or give up entirely.

And this is where I stand
Until He moves me on
And I will listen to His voice
My choice is to wait. To stay. To listen.

Could it be that He is only
waiting there to see
If I will learn to love
the dreams that He has
dreamed for me
He promised His plans would be better than mine.

Can't imagine what the future holds
But I've already made my choice
And this is where I stand
Until He moves me on
And I will listen to His voice
-From "I Will Listen" by Twila Paris

2 comments:

My Bright Corner April 28, 2009 at 3:31 PM  

Awesome post, Rebecca!

I can say that I've felt the same way before, too. I never, ever dreamt that I'd be 26, single, and still living at home. Never. Ever. But it's awesome how amazing God's grace is because I've accepted it and realized what a blessed and amazing life I live!

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