Waiting

I've turned on my computer many times over the last few days, intending to write an article - any article – for this blog. And every single time I put my fingers to the keyboard to turn ideas into words, every coherent thought wisks away. Ideas that seemed sensible, even brilliant, look inane on the page.

And so I type, watching the trail of words troop across the screen and the cursor blink as I wait for more words to come.

And wait.

And wait.

And wait.

Sometimes it feels like I'm waiting for everything. I'm waiting for God to plop a husband in my lap, I'm waiting for the right job to come along, I'm waiting for spring to arrive, I'm waiting for the bell to ring at 5 o'clock to let me go home, I'm waiting for the bathroom, I'm waiting, waiting, waiting.

Everyone always says, 'hustle while you wait.'

And so I tell the words to hustle. And they don't. They're often inconveniently obstinate like that.

Instead, I wait and hustle thoughts, hoping that the thoughts will trigger words.

While waiting for a guy, I tend to hustle a lot of prayers, hoping that they'll hurry up the situation. Maybe they have. I don't know. I'm still waiting.

I think the point is, hustle. But don't just hustle in ways you think will make the problem resolve magically. Praying that God would make your guy to arrive doesn't make the waiting easier; it just makes it easier to remember the lack of a guy in your life. Praying specifically for your friends and family will get your thoughts off yourself. Staring at the clock, willing the minutes to fly by doesn't work. But working hard and resisting the urge to clock-stare does. Thinking long and hard about stupid writer's block doesn't get rid of the block, it just drives you batty.

But writing gibberish about it, just might.