Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Fireproof the movie: For Singles

When I first heard about this movie, many months ago, I must admit, I was disappointed.  Disappointed because it was yet another movie about relationships.  Specifically the guy/girl kind.  And even more specifically, the marriage kind.  The kind I don't have.  So, what good is it going to do me?  And why, for crying out loud, can't someone make a movie about a single girl, who lives and laughs and cries and hurts and hopes and doesn't meet a guy and fall in love and get swept off her feet and marry in a blissful cloud of white satin and rose petals before the 90 minutes is up?

Now, before I say anymore, I don't want you to get the wrong impression.  So, let me be clear.  I support marriage 100%.

So, I was disappointed.  But, I got over it.  And since I had heard so many rave reviews from people saying that the movie had changed their lives/marriages, I made the determination that that I was going to learn something from it.  I decided to view the movie from this perspective.  What can a single girl learn from a movie directed at making a marriage work?

I prepared myself by asking opinions from the single friends I have that had already seen the movie

Here's what my friend Tom had to say:

"I think the number one thought the movie was reinforcing is that love is a choice, not an emotion. A decision to sacrifice your personal preference for the betterment of another. I think if you asked the majority of Christians, they know "the right answer" to what love should look like, but to see it in action always touches the heart. And tear ducts."

I thought that was interesting.  And then my friend Nicky responded to my question and what she had to say closely echoed Tom's thoughts, on the "love is a choice" point:

"Fireproof, a story about love. I was truly moved by the movie, it is yet another example of love being a choice - not a feeling. Of course the film is about a married couple, but it is even more about the relationship we have with the Lord. Are we choosing to love Him, even when we don't feel like it? When we can't see His face, or feel His presence, or when we just don't know if He is even speaking to us. We much choose love. We must choose life, everyday making choices to let God know that we love Him." 
You can read the rest of what Nicky wrote HERE

So, with these thoughts in mind I went to the theater for an 11:30 AM showing of Fireproof on Saturday.  11:30 AM on Saturday is a great time to see a movie.  The theater was almost completely empty except for my sisters and I and another family (which we happened to know) so we were free to laugh out loud whenever we felt like it.  So we did.  Several times.  All in all the movie was very touching.  The characters were easy to identify with, their problems were realistic and believable.

Fireproof is a story of marriage.  Saving marriage.  Preserving marriage.  I definitely learned some things that I tucked away in my "Things to use when you are married" file.  But what about things to use today?  Right now?  Where I'm at?

Any relationship at all, friends, siblings, parent/child, husband/wife, coworkers, neighbors, all of them require some measure of self-sacrifice.  It takes work to maintain healthy relationships.  In fact, the key to killing any relationship is selfishness.  The flip side is: self-sacrifice to improve your relationships ultimately benefits YOU in the end.

My mom says that marriage is the #1 relationship (after your relationship with God, of course :).  It's the hardest relationship you'll ever have, because you have to  sacrifice for it every day 24/7/365/forever.  It's the relationship you never get a break from, no days off, no vacation.  I have some close friends,  some really close family.  But, at the end of the day, it's really just me.  I don't have a relationship that requires my attention and commitment all the time, till death us do part.

So, I've got some time to commit to other relationships right now.  

Which brings me back to the "love is a choice" point.  If love truly is a choice, than I can choose to love anyone.  We all have people in our lives that grate on us.  Things they do that irritate.  Times when self preservation causes us to pull back from others.

So, this is the challenge to me, here now.  To choose to love the ones that are hard to love.  To make the sacrifices.


Pam H. October 21, 2008 at 7:42 AM  

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Mamselle Clare Duroc October 21, 2008 at 7:17 PM  

Thanks for the review and post. I haven't yet seen the movie, but when I do I'll remember your post, and how the film is applicable to a single not only in how it may apply to her if she gets married, but in the here and now.

God bless!

Danae October 22, 2008 at 10:41 PM  

Good thoughts from your mom.

I really want to see this movie sometime!

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