Thursday, October 30, 2008

Of worth

It's the question nearly every single girl dreads: "So, have you found anyone yet?"

It seems that these well-meaning people are simply concerned that we don't miss our better half--but underlying sits the possible implication that we are not whole yet--because we are single.

The church at large seems to not know what to do with singles--where do they fit in?

It appears, in some respects, that they are considered in between childhood and adulthood--for the vast society of believers still see marriage as the proof we've come of age, and entered the world of the adult.

I've long noticed that, especially amidst conservative homeschoolers, there is an attitude of "levels" in the Christian walk. I don't mean levels as in growing in the Lord--I mean levels as in status of worth. That marriage makes you more of adult. And singleness leaves you on the opposite end.

Now I realize marriage does, in some ways require more adulthood of you. I realize it will force a maturity on you that you might not attain so readily as a single. I'm not doubting the difficulty of the relationship, nor belittling it--after all, God does hold a high view of His first institution!

My hope with this article is to bridge an understanding between both those married and single, to view each other as God sees us--equally bought with a price, and equally found with worth because of this. My intent is not to fuss at either season--merely to encourage both to work together for the Kingdom.

I've seen many singles treated as somehow inferior because of their marital status, just as I have seen married ladies left out and even shunned from conversations with those unmarried, because of a lack of knowing how to treat them. Because the season of life differs so vastly for the two aspects, I understand it can be hard to know how to relate, for both sides. May I exhort, even clumsily, my sisters from both seasons in this?

Reach out in friendship no matter the status of the other. Yes, there will be areas of each of your lives where the other simply can't relate--but then again, there will still be many areas where they can. We need each other! Don't be afraid to cross over the bridge smile.gif It takes daily grace to walk with the Lord, no matter where you are. Every season has its good and bad. Having our sisters walking with us, even on different paths, is such an encouragement.

One path is not lesser than the other. True worth is found in Christ, not on our left hand smile.gif While we may be in different places, we will always have Him in common--such a comfort to know, isn't it? We may not be able to fellowship together over every part of our lives --but we can always, always fellowship over Him. Don't you love that?

Please don't misunderstand me--I'm not suggesting there's anything wrong with relating more to those who are where you are. There are some things that we naturally need to share with those in the same place. Rather, it is the bridge mentality I speak of--that unless we are on the same side, we can't get along. This simply isn't true.

Treat your sisters with love and respect no matter where they are. And realize that in every season, God has a plan and purpose for your life--and His way is always perfect.


Krista October 30, 2008 at 11:49 AM  

Spot on here, Deb! I am so glad you posted much to ponder on. I know our readers are mostly single, but I think it needs to be heard, both if you are single or married.


Danae October 30, 2008 at 10:44 PM  

"Having our sisters walking with us, even on different paths, is such an encouragement."
Yes! It truly is. My single friends are just as much of an encouragement to me as the friends who are married like I am. I appreciate them a lot - and I want keep that bridge built between our different seasons, as you put it.

Pam H. October 31, 2008 at 8:15 AM  

I've noticed that, one on one, it's much easier to relate to those who are different. But in groups, it's so difficult that most people quit trying pretty quickly, if they even bother to start. So I don't expect much from groups, as a rule, and if I find otherwise, it's an especial delight, unlooked-for.

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