Saturday, December 6, 2008

How He cares for me.


My dream is to be an author and illustrator of children’s books. Big dreams, right? As they say, shoot for the moon, because even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars. So when an opportunity came to enroll in a correspondence art course and, most importantly I thought, I had the money for it coming in every month, I decided that it was possibly my countdown to take off. I enrolled. I had a part time daycare job at home, bringing me $150 a month, which perfectly covered my monthly bills. Add to that the odd jobs I did, babysitting, and occasional sales for my artwork and jewelry, I was rolling along beautifully. God is so good. He’s taking care of me, He’s showing me the way to make my dreams come true. Let’s go Christmas shopping!

That was before The Call. That’s right, I received The Phone Call of Doom. I didn’t lose my job, but I got a rather drastic cut in hours, which is a cut in that precious $150 a month. That means… yeah. I am stuck with monthly bills and no guarantee that I’m going to be able to pay them.

Then I got a notification from the post office; $20 needed immediately to pay for my P.O. box. The DMV sent me a notice saying that I had to renew my license for an astonishing $50. And when I went with family and friends to see Stars on Ice, I realized with a sickening feeling that I hadn’t paid mom for my ticket yet. I have only one pair of contacts left; to order more, or NOT to order more, and revert to wearing my glasses? That is the question. And… Christmas shopping wasn’t done yet. Maybe I just won’t give presents this year. Things are kind of tight you know. Maybe I can put “money” on my Christmas wish-list.

Panic set in and got nice in comfortable. It kicked off its shoes, reclined and started sipping cocoa in the living room of my heart.

I was in the kitchen chopping onions (not a chore much relished by me), the proverbial black storm cloud hanging over my head, when I suddenly remembered my joy of only a few days before. The joy I had in my Lord taking care of me and giving me my dreams. The truth is, He is still taking care of me. I might not be able to make a payment or two – which my parents would never allow anyway, I could borrow from them – but God doesn’t manifest His watch care over me by giving me every little thing I want. He’s caring for me every bit as much today as He was when I had more money. How silly of me to even think for a moment that he didn’t.

2 comments:

Krista December 7, 2008 at 8:12 AM  

Thanks, Valerie, for this post. Right now, I'm not dealing with money troubles, but with other worries in life, some family, some work-related, and I needed that reminder...

He cares for me.

It might not always look like I think it should. It might not always feel hopeful. But he cares for me.

So...thanks.

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