Faith
"Rebecca, do you want more faith?"
The minister was talking to me. I took my eyes off the baby sleeping in my lap and looked up. Yep. Definitely talking to me. I nodded. Of course I want more faith. Of course.
The minister went on, but I got stuck on the faith thing.
More faith sure would come in handy. I do want more faith.
I've always struggled with trust issues. Ok, just go ahead and call me a worrywart. I totally deserve it.
Remember Deb's post a while back on Worry? Well, that post jumped off the screen and smacked me right on the forehead. As in "This is YOU, Rebecca! Listen up!" Especially since I had just had a conversation with a co-worker the week before on the same subject. My co-worker reminded me that "Worry is a sin. It's taking your situations out of God's hands and trying to take care of them yourself. It's the same as saying 'God, you can't handle this as well as I can." Ouch.
So, I acknowledge that I have a problem with this. I worry about EVERYTHING.
My job security, for instance, is not so secure. What if I lose my job? The economy's not so good right now, you know? What if I don't have enough money for rent? Or food? What if I have to move back home???? Ouch. That would be a blow to my pride. Or, what if I say something stupid sometime? (not that it's never happened before...:) Or, what if someone I love gets sick? Or hurt? Or, (here's a biggie) What if... I NEVER get married? And I can't support myself? And I never have children? And everything I've ever wanted never happens? What if... well.... there are certainly enough things to worry about.
So, I've had faith on the brain for a while now.
I keep remembering this song I sang as a child
We need more faith
Every single day
We need to trust in the God of the impossible
We need more faith
Every single day
We need to trust Him every step we take
And after all it makes sense. God created us. He created our circumstances just for us. So, why shouldn't we able to handle it? Why shouldn't God be able to handle it? He can. The real question is...can we handle trusting Him?
4 comments:
Oh I know we can handle it... the problem really is : are we willing to? *sigh* I can relate rebeeca. Trust has been the theme of the past TWO years of my life... maybe longer......
I've been thinking about trust alot latey. It is all well and good to talk about it in general terms: I have been looking to see what trusting would actually look like in my every day life, in every minute that I have to trust. What is it that I am actually doing that I label as trust? This has been interesting, and a growing process.
I did have to move back with my parents, after I'd been on my own a couple of years. It was during the oil and gas embargo of the 1980s, and I'd been out of work for 8 months. It was embarrassing, but you know what? Things at home weren't like I was a kid anymore. It was actually pretty neat.
Wow, I'm the same way, Rebecca! One of the things I struggle with the most is worry. The Lord has really been working in my heart to help me learn to trust lately. One thing that really helps me is, when I begin to worry, to instead choose to meditate on Scripture. It really helps!
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