Tuesday, December 16, 2008

The War Between the Sexes

My 14 year old brother kindly offered to help me with something tonight.  I think his exact words were "do you have problems?  I can fix them."  (He was mostly joking)  I took him up on his offer, though, and asked him to write my article for today.  I said: "Can you write an encouraging article for Christian young ladies?"  His response: Baseball stuff.  I'll spare you.  He did make me laugh, though :)

Guys are wired differently than girls.  It's just the facts. 

The exchange between my brother and myself got me thinking about something that has been on my mind for a while. 

I'm just gonna talk about it a little bit.  Feedback would be greatly appreciated if anyone has any thoughts on the subject. 

It's mainly this: Guy-Bashing.  Why do we do it? 

I've heard a lot of girls say things like "Guys don't act like gentleman anymore" (I may have even said this myself)  The guys are quick to return that the girls don't act like ladies.  I think there is some truth in both of these statements.  Not that either of them justifies the other. 

Girls.  Be ladies.  Deserve to be treated like ladies.  Act like ladies whether the guys notice or not. 

We, as girls, tend to have very high expectations from men.  We think they should all be knights in shining armor.  Maybe they should be.  But, regardless of how short they fall of our lofty marks, bashing on them only degrades our own good names. 

Let's put it in the reverse.  All ladies should be queens of decorum and honor.  We should always be gracious and lovely.  Smiles should never leave our faces.  Our voices should be sweet and our words encouraging.  While these goals are something we should aim for every day, in all honesty which of us lives up to them every day?  I certainly don't.  I have rough days.  Sometimes I forget to smile.  Sometimes I say something rude.  I do not treat every man I meet as if he were a gentleman of the highest birth.  How discouraging it would be to me, were I to overhear some men talking about me, saying that I did not deserve to be treated like a lady, based on my behaviour on a rough day.

And yet, I often hear girls saying similar things regarding guys. 

Girls, guys are just guys.  They're not stupid.  They're not mean by nature.  They're just guys.  Just because they don't treat every woman they meet as if she is a priceless jewel doesn't mean they're inept. 

Unfortunately, our society is involved in a war as old as time.  The "War Between the Sexes."  We make enemies of each other, just because we don't understand them. 

God created us male and female on purpose.  Each of us has different strengths and weaknesses that in the grand scheme of things, should all fit together and work in tandem. 

Let's make it a goal for 2009.  To talk nicely about the guys.  To treat them like gentleman, whether they deserve it or not.  To act like ladies, whether we're treated that way or not.  To trust that God's plan is perfect.  To know that God created men just the way they are.  And that God doesn't mean for us to totally understand it.


Laura Ansley December 16, 2008 at 1:36 PM  

Amen. I appreciate this post. =)

Pam H. December 16, 2008 at 5:50 PM  

I can think of one fellow I know, who became a friend because I forgave him, over and over again, for acting like a jerk.

Can't say it would happen every time (and there's not being a doormat - which I wasn't, in the situation above), but you never know.

Danae December 16, 2008 at 10:38 PM  

You know...it's really true, we complain about men not being gentleman anymore, but we expect them to put up with all our emotional-ness, impatience, etc. :P Good reminder.

Sarah Dee December 17, 2008 at 10:47 AM  

GREAT ARTICLE REBECCA!!!!! A hearty amen shall resound from my corner of the room!

Mac December 18, 2008 at 10:12 AM  

Good Post Dr. Jak!!!! Thank You!

Shannon December 18, 2008 at 12:24 PM  

Well said. I've noticed the same thing and am glad to find others who agree on the problem. Thank you for proposing a solution as well. :) A change in my perspective and behavior is often in order. Now here's a thought that might bear further discussion. What is a girl to do when she hears other girls putting guys down? Comments in their defense can be misconstrued, but to stand by silently can be equal to condoning the behavior. I've been there more than once. Do you have suggestions or examples to share of things that have worked for you?

Pam H. December 18, 2008 at 5:53 PM  

Silence isn't always taken as condonement. (Is that a word?)
Also, with time, one can learn to make comments in others' defense that are subtle and that steer conversation, rather than sounding impulsive and contrary (or as if we have a bias of some sort). It takes practice, tho'. This may not be so true in a one-time gathering, but it is with folks who get to know you, such as in the workplace.

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