Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Saying something encouraging...

The challenge that goes with writing something encouraging for single girls is coming up with something that hasn't already been said.  There are plenty of encouraging websites and books out there for us.  There are even plenty of encouraging friends in the same situation if you know where to look (hint, hint, IDD) :) 

But, I think we've all been to the place where the same old, same old phrases e.g. "God will bring the right man, just have patience." "Being single is a gift, it's a time to serve the Lord in a way you won't be able to once you are married." just sound trite at times.  Like, the times when we're being strong, really being strong, and a commercial on TV or a song we hear brings tears to our eyes and a sudden familiar longing. 

Or, maybe you've had the "wedding blues."  You know the ones?  When your friend or relative is getting married, and they're SO happy.  And you're so happy for them, too.  And you help with the planning and the wedding and you do everything you can, but when they walk down the aisle, you cry.  Not for joy.  For loneliness.  Because you feel like you're losing a friend.  Because at the end of the day your friend has a better friend.  And you go home alone.

I've been there.  Lots of times.  I go home and cry out to the Lord "Lord, if marriage isn't what you want for me, PLEASE take the desire away.  Make me content with my future alone."  I've said it many times.  And I meant it every single time.  In fact, every single time I've meant it even more than the last time. 

But, you know what?  He never took it away.  And you know what else?  THAT is more encouraging to me than anything sometimes.  That He didn't take that desire away.  Which means He must want me to have it.  I think that means He's going to fill it. 

So, now I'm praying for patience.



Bekah.Hope August 23, 2008 at 11:37 AM  

I know just where you're coming from as another single young lady like you. I've prayed the same prayer, scrawled it in journals at ungodly hours of the night, and whimpered it through tears over the course of many years. But a very wise woman in my life told me something very profound. She said, "Bekah, I talk to women all the time who have grown bitter because God hasn't fulfilled their desire for a husband. They feel cheated because they've been "given" this desire, only to have it remain unfulfilled. But what so many don't realize is that just because they have a NATURAL desire to get married, it doesn't necessarily mean that desire is GOD-GIVEN."

Now before you write me off and think, "No, that couldn't possibly be true." I would ask you to hear the rest of the story, which is far too lenghthy to post in a comment. God has used that phrase in incredible ways over the past year to change my heart, and I feel led to share it with you. You can email me by clicking the link in my profile.

Look forward to hearing from you!! God bless!

Ashley (Shine4Him) August 23, 2008 at 8:53 PM  

Very good thoughts, Rebecca. Thank you.

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