Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Guest Post: "Single does not mean Alone" by JourneyGirl

Hello ladies (and any gentlemen lurkers! :-) ),

I wanted to share a special treat from a guest blogger, Journeygirl. Journeygirl’s article “Single does not mean Alone” reminded me of how God has woven the story of time, orchestrating events and moving in our lives to woo us and bring us back to that place of intimacy from our darkened separated shame. He can fulfill our desire for intimacy-the need to know and be known completely. I am so thankful that while we are single we are not alone, that God comes alongside us and walks with us hand in hand through the darkest and most difficult times. Not as some cosmic boyfriend, but rather as a true companion who knows us intimately- every detail, every thought, every action, the good, the bad and the ugly and still chooses to shout to the world His great and magnificent love. I pray that this article encourages and blesses each of you… Enjoy.


“And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." Matthew 28:20b NIV

It is hard to be single. That is true... been there done that... doing that. I have had my share of tears as I walk this season of life. I've dreamed of romance since I was young... maybe even since age 14... I think by around the age of 17 I was dreaming of marriage.

Now I am 26 and still dreaming of the day when it will really happen.

It is a place inside of me that I sometimes want to walk away from. It's so frustrating and hard to be at this place that I throw out ridiculous statements like "let's be nuns." "I'm going to take a vow of singleness." I think if I shut the door on my heart then I won't be disappointed. But it is a dream, a desire that I cannot shut down. It is hard wired into the core of my being (as others have said before)... the desire to love and be loved.

But through these last couple of days, I've been feeling rather emotional and frustrated with life in general. I've been open with God about these feelings and have really connected with Him and His love. In the past I have asked God to romance me. I have felt that, His romancing, these last 2 days in some special ways. God knows how to touch our hearts with His beautiful love.

Let me tell you a story. It has 2 characters, the first is a handsome prince: Jesus, and the female role is played by you.

It is a beautiful love story... handsome prince... neat and clean and fresh... walks the alleys and fields surrounding his kingdom. Sees a young girl... not really a lady no... poor and bloodied... dirty belonging to no one. Crying in her own dirt.

He goes over to her... she can't even look Him in the eye. He extends His hand to her and pulls her to her feet. By this time she is sobbing uncontrollably... "Don't touch me I'm dirty. I'll get you dirty too." He takes the hem of his tunic and wipes the tears from her face... getting dirt smeared onto the clean linen.

He puts his hand under her chin, she won't, she can't look up. He says, "I've been waiting for you for a long time. I have chosen you. I have watched you from afar. I want to take you into my heart. I don't care about this dirt... I don't care that you feel you have nothing to offer. I don't care. I only care about you. All I want is your heart and I freely give you mine." She carefully looks up... tears in her eyes. His compassionate beautiful eyes look fully into hers. She nods her head as a warmth fills her heart. The knowing that she was now chosen starts a change deep inside. A change that quickly transforms her from a bedraggled filthy orphan, abandoned and alone into a chosen woman.

It was not a change you could see from the outside (like Cinderella)... but if you looked into her eyes, the windows into her soul you could see it. A young girl desperate to be loved, to be noticed changes into something beautiful. She changed in one instant as the truth of who she really was penetrated to the depths of her soul... she wasn't unchosen, she wasn't overlooked... she was wanted and the man above all men... the most eligible bachelor of all time had chosen her. He loved her, he had made his intentions known and she gladly accepted.

I think when we fully embrace our true identity we too will experience a sort of transformation... we have all bemoaned the fact of our singleness... which spelled out into full fact is that no one is ours, we are alone, we wear the title of "single". No one has expressed their love and devotion to us and sealed it with a kiss.

I know from experience it is hard to be single, when we desire otherwise... but remember we have the creator of the universe romancing us. He initiated it about 2,000 years ago. You may wish to have a young man standing next to you holding your hand as you watch the sun go down... but have you ever seen a sunset by yourself and felt that whisper, that warmth spoken to your heart, God's lingering touch that says, "I made this for you... I love you."

We may look single... we may get a table for one at a restaurant... we may go for walks by ourselves as the sun is setting... maybe even buy one ticket to watch a movie by ourselves.(I have done each and everyone of these things.)

.... but are we really single... as the word implies, alone... by ourselves?

The truth is we always have Someone to listen. We have Someone that can look into our hearts beyond the facade of the masks we wear... He sees our pain... He catches all our tears in a bottle. He writes down the days of our lives... He dances over us with singing! He enjoys life when we do... he loves to watch us. We are his beloved... He blows kisses our way through sunsets... and moonlight, fireflies and children's giggles.

I haven't met any guy that can do that yet. I am being romanced, in a sense courted and wooed by the author of romance himself...in the truest sense of the word I am not single. I am not alone. As Solomon so eloquently put it, "I am my beloveds, and my beloved is mine."


Pam H. September 30, 2008 at 6:14 PM  

It's quite possible that unless we discover the truth herein (and remember it, which is harder yet), we won't be happy even being married. Marriage is not easy, either. (See St. Paul on this.) The warm fuzzies go away rather quickly, even if the love (which consists of actions - deliberate choices - not feelings!) does not. Daily, let us commit to remembering God's love for us, even when we cannot feel it. It's good practice for marriage, too.

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