Held In His Arms

May 3, 2008

It’s almost midnight, and I am wide awake. I climbed into bed over an hour ago, to do a little reading and then go to sleep. Tomorrow is Sunday, so it’s up and at-‘em right away so we can be at church on time. But instead I lay in bed staring up at the darkened ceiling with no sign of slumber on the horizon. Why? I don’t know. I know I should be asleep, yet what keeps me awake? I start going through things in my head: am I worried about something? No. Am I unhappy? No. Stressed? Preoccupied? Lonely maybe; like so many nights of recent? No, it’s not even that. Then suddenly, in the stillness there is a knowing. Nothing changed, no voice from above, no crash of lightning, in fact everything is very quiet. But yet I know what. God is just wanting to talk to me. To be with me, commune with me and me with Him. That’s what it is. It’s that thing we call having a relationship with God. It’s like with your friends, you know when they need you, when they just want to talk, or share, or just be with you. It was like that, I knew that God just wanted to talk, to tell me that He loved me and that I am His child. That He is with me. So, I turned over and just said “Yes Lord.” That’s all He needed, an open heart, a willing vessel. I love that feeling, the one you get when you can feel God working inside of you. Cleaning out rooms of your soul that you have allowed to be dirtied by the world, but it doesn’t hurt, in fact, it feels wonderful, like stepping out of the shower after being covered in mud. That wonderful feeling of oneness with God, that compares to nothing else. Everything else dims in comparison. Do I still feel lonely? Sure, part of me does, the part that God created to be and want love. But, I don’t care. At this moment in time I am so full of the love of God for me that I don’t care! God loves me and cares about me and wants only what is perfect for me. He is holding me in his arms with His cheek next to mine saying “My child, I love you, and I am here to hold you, to listen to you, and to perform the very best for you. So be at peace my child, trust me, place your hand in mine and I will lead you and guide you forever.” My eyes are getting heavy so it’s off to bed again. But this time I have a smile on my face and the love of God overflowing in my heart.